.png)
How to Rest Without Guilt
Before I became a mum, I had a successful career where I worked hard and played hard. Life was full and vibrant. I was always high energy and ready to tackle any challenge with confidence. Motherhood? I was sure I’d own it.
But let's just say I got it a little wrong. The overwhelming reality hit me hard. My confident paradigm crumbled, leading to my own personal shakedown.
I became trapped in a cycle of trying to get everything right. I fixated on finding the perfect routine, desperate for my baby to sleep through the night, and pushing myself to "bounce back" quickly. My default response to stress was to push harder, work harder, and get busier.
Yet, no matter what I did, it never felt like enough. Nothing worked as planned for my baby’s sleep or eating habits. "Going with the flow" wasn’t in my rulebook.
Each day, I powered through on coffee, dreaming of when I could finally rest, only to lie awake at night. My thoughts spun with worries about nighttime awakenings, unfinished tasks, and self-doubt. I was stuck in survival mode, with every day blurring into the next—like a relentless Groundhog Day I couldn’t escape.
The Cost of Ignoring Rest
As a mom, you’re always giving, your time, your energy, your love. Everyone relies on you for emotional support and guidance. When you ignore your body’s need for rest, the toll adds up.
Physically, it looks like:
Chronic exhaustion, headaches, and muscle tension.
Weakened immunity, digestive issues, and hormonal imbalances.
Aches, pains, and fatigue that just won’t go away.
Emotionally, you may feel:
Anxious, irritable, or constantly on edge.
Disconnected from your family and yourself.
Trapped in guilt—feeling like you’re failing, even when you’re doing your best.
I experienced all of this. My body broke down. I developed terrible eczema on my hands, face, and knees, my immune system was shutting down. I couldn’t even walk up the stairs without feeling like I’d collapse. I jumped at every small noise and catastrophized everything. Even when I was with my child, all I could think about was when I could finally rest, but the truth is I didn’t know how to rest!
Why Rest Feels So Hard
We live in a world that celebrates productivity, rest has been engineered out of modern society, so no wonder we feel like failures when we try to slow down.
Your nervous system gets stuck in “action mode”, always braced for the next cry, the next task, the next demand as this feels familiar, safe a place where you can show your worth. When you try to slow down, you feel restless, guilty, or uncomfortable.
This isn’t weakness. It’s a conditioned response, a habit of constantly pushing through. But here’s the truth: ignoring rest doesn’t make us better moms. It makes us more disconnected, more resentful, and more overwhelmed
Your body is not built for endless doing. Like nature, you need cycles of growth and renewal. When you don’t rest, your body will stop you through illness, burnout, or breakdown.
I had to learn this the hard way. I pushed myself until I collapsed. It took me nearly two years to realize that rest isn’t a luxury, it’s essential for survival.
How I Taught My Nervous System to Rest
Slowing down transformed my life. I taught my body that rest is safe and now make time to pause at least four times a day.
Here's how you can start retraining your nervous system:
Start Small: Begin with just 5 minutes of stillness. Your body will learn to trust the pause.
Move First, Rest After: Use simple movements like star jumps or gentle stretches to release tension.
Ground Yourself: Place your feet on the floor, hug yourself, or press a hand to your chest. Breathe deeply and remind yourself, “I am safe. I can pause.”
Try the 4-7-8 Breath: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8. This tells your body it’s time to relax.
Use Affirmations: When guilt arises, respond with kindness: “Rest is safe. I deserve this moment.”
If rest feels uncomfortable, don’t shy away, get curious. Treat it like a game to understand the part of you that keeps pushing to keep going. Visualize this part as a cartoon character, a color, or a texture. Feel where it resides in your body, place your hands on it, and simply acknowledge its presence.
It’s okay to let emotions surface. If you need to cry or scream into a pillow, go ahead! Have a little chat with it, give it a hug and say, “It’s okay, we’re just taking a small pause so we can get all our things done.” Sometimes, there’s a part of you that needs to feel seen to make rest feel acceptable.
What Rest Looks Like for Me Now
Even now, I can find myself off balance, especially during darker months. But I've made rest a daily habit. Sometimes it's:
A brief meditation or breathwork session.
Gentle movement, like stretching or a walk or dancing to my favourate song (right now it Alica Key’s “this girl is on fire’).
A warm bath with essential oils
self-massage with a massage ball to release tension
Reading or simply sitting with a cup of tea.
Looking in the mirror, breathing deeply, and affirming: “I am enough, and I can rest.”
These small moments changed everything. My body healed, my mind settled, and I became more connected to my needs and desires, my children, and my partner. My life has changed dramatically.
Why Rest Matters for Moms
You're the foundation of your family. Everyone relies on you, so remember:
Your body is still recovering. Postpartum isn't just the first few weeks; it's months, even years, of rebalancing.
You're the emotional anchor. When you're rested, your calm ripples through your family.
Rest protects your health. Ignoring rest means risking burnout, anxiety, and chronic illness. Your body needs rest to thrive.
You can't pour from an empty cup. Rest allows you to recharge, so you can give to your family without losing yourself.
I can highly recommend writing these on a post it notes and sticking them around your house to remind yourself rest isn’t selfish; it’s survival. When you rest, you teach your children that self-care is strength, showing them it's okay to pause and prioritize themselves.
Take Your First Step Toward Rest
If you feel exhausted and disconnected, know this: Slowing down doesn’t mean failing. It means rebuilding, reconnecting, reclaiming yourself.
I’ve created a calming practice just for moms like you. Sign up for my newsletter and download the "12 Minutes to Calm" guided meditation—a practice designed to help release tension and quiet your mind.
About Camille Nanette - Regenerative Wellbeing Coach
Camille is a Regenerative Wellbeing Coach focused on facilitating deep, regenerative change at the nervous system level. She is passionate about supporting working women and mothers to break free from chronic stress, helping them to feel energized and fulfilled so they can live every day with clarity feeling present for their family. As a holistic health coach and somatic stress release practitioner, after working for 20 years in the corporate world, Camille uniquely combines professional insights and personal understanding from her journey as a self-described recovering stress addict. Having juggled 60-hour work weeks while striving to meet impossible standards, she faced burnout and its subsequent health challenges. Camille's recovery emphasized the transformation required to overcome chronic stress and live fully.
Comments