How my Postpartum Depression Led Me to Create a Powerful Parenting Tool
It was truly the perfect storm. I had two years of parenthood under my belt raising my first son, weathered a pandemic as a postpartum mother, and was teaching third grade special education, witnessing firsthand how anxiety, depression, and poor self-esteem permeate the culture of early childhood. My classroom was Exhibit A. The final twist came with the arrival of my second baby. As if managing early parenthood, a career, and the emotional demands of my students weren’t enough, my body reached its breaking point, as my hormones rebelled.
Around 2.5 months postpartum, I was hit with a severe bout of postpartum depression—something I hadn’t anticipated, something I had thought happened to other women, not me.
From July to December, the crucial infancy months of my son’s life, I struggled to keep afloat. My toddler needed me more than ever, while my husband juggled a chaotic work schedule and tried to keep me “happy.” I found myself barely surviving each day, overwhelmed to the point where waking up felt unbearable. Lack of sleep, the high-pitched cries of a hungry baby, and a toddler’s defiance left me feeling empty and incapable. I became a shell of my former self, unable to adhere to social norms. My unhappiness led to a deep sense of purposelessness and I struggled to recognize the person I was before.
Now, those early months feel like a distant memory. Reflecting on that time is akin to watching a movie about a manic and sad stranger. The memories are foggy, covered by a gray film. I want to tell myself that I don’t know that person anymore, but the pain still lingers, reminding me to keep moving forward, growing, and using the past as a source of strength. I remember missing soccer games, taking late-night drives to the beach to cry, and the 4 a.m. feedings spent fixated on the dark sky and dreaming of escape.
I vividly recall telling my husband, “I think I need to go to the hospital.” Leaving him with a newborn and a toddler, I drove myself to the nearest hospital, knowing I needed help. I felt immense guilt for leaving my family but knew I had to seek recovery for their sake. After two hours of waiting and receiving no resources—while overhearing a distressing conversation about a woman who had attempted suicide—I left, feeling more frustrated and confused than when I arrived.
My loved ones needed me to get better—they were bearing the weight of my postpartum depression, too. I was able to begin therapy and eventually found a center for postpartum mothers. These sessions sparked a desire to recover. Though far from recognizing my former self, I began to sense growth. I craved structure and discipline, which led me to establish strict routines that aided my healing journey. These rituals provided space to heal, to rediscover myself, and to accept that motherhood had changed who I was as a person. Like a snake who had shed their skin, there was no way I could ever fit inside of it again.
Weightlifting, weekly therapy sessions, visualization meditations before bed, and positive affirmations paired with mirror talk became transformative practices. I was diligent about these routines, and their consistency helped me to feel grounded and strong. I began to rewire my brain through positive self-talk and deepened my connection with myself by confronting and countering negative thoughts. I had to retrain my mind to change my life and fulfill my roles as a mother, wife, friend, and daughter.
Throughout this journey, I became more spiritual. Through meditation, I was able to meet the person I wanted to be. I believed my pain had a greater purpose, prompting me to ask the universe for guidance on how to turn my suffering into a meaningful contribution. I wanted to provide my children with tools to build resilience, coping skills, and a strong inner voice, knowing they would inevitably face mental health challenges themselves, at some point in their lives.
As I brainstormed how to create such a tool, the idea of a holiday advent calendar came to mind. The nostalgia and warmth of this tradition resonated with me. I can look back to my childhood and how exciting it felt to run downstairs every morning and hang the daily ornament on the wall- hanging tree. It was a tradition I fondly cherish and one that I started with my son when he turned 2. Even at such a young age, I saw his excitement to participate in this routine and specifically to spend time with each other, bonding and connecting over this simple tradition.
As an educator, I know children need engaging methods to learn, so I designed The Mindset Tapestry to mimic the wall- hanging calendar I used with my family 30 years ago. With interactive elements like tactile affirmation tags, mirror-talk visuals, and sensory components, I knew the design would speak to a child and would be the perfect vessel to teach a positive mindset and a routine of self- love. A wall-hanging format made sense, serving as a focal point in any room and encouraging the entire family to be mindful of their mindset, practice gratitude, and dream big every day.
The Mindset Tapestry represents a culmination of my experiences as an individual, teacher, and mother. My mission is to offer tools for children and families to incorporate mental health practices from early childhood, fostering screen-free engagement and connection. As a modern millennial mom, I continually reflect on how society raised us and strive to do a better, more intentional job for my kids. I am far from perfect, but self- awareness is a continuous way to learn. My hope is to empower anyone involved in raising children—whether parents, grandparents, educators, or therapists—to prioritize emotional health and self-care.
If there is one thing my postpartum journey has taught me, it’s that there is nothing greater than your mental health. It’s the starting point for personal happiness, purpose and success. If an individual lacks the tools to instill a positive mental outlook, the world can feel bleak, relationships suffer, and poor life choices can be made. I want to provide children with the mental health tools to navigate the hardships of life, while maintaining a strong and confident inner-voice that guides their journey. I want children to know that their authenticity is valued and their emotional health is always a priority.
Deanna Blasi DeAndino is the Founder + CEO of The Mindset Tapestry Self- Affirming Mirror Talk for Kids. The Mindset Tapestry incorporates a unique blend of mirror talk, affirmation tags, and beautifully illustrated caregiver cards, making it an interactive and invaluable resource. Its user-friendly design ensures ease of use, providing a practical solution for instilling confidence, self-esteem, and self-love. Beyond its individual benefits, The Mindset Tapestry serves as a catalyst for strengthening the bond between caregiver and child. It fosters deeper connections, establishing a foundation of love, trust, and acceptance within the family dynamic. Get more info at https://themindsettapestry.co/
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